Hey y'all!
I recently had a conversation with a longtime friend of mine. I have been thinking about it a lot since then and thought a lot of people may need to hear it, so hear ya go.
She asked if she could ask me something, and of course I said yes. She knew what all I went through over the last few years and has gone through something terrible, relationship-wise herself. She said "How do you do it? How do you trust again? How do you let yourself love again?"
My quick text (really, Facebook message) answer was "Well, you have to, right?"
Then over the coming hours, and then days, I started to think about that more. And I knew that in the moments after I decided to be done with my previous relationship I knew I would love again, I am built for it. We all are. And here is what I thought:
I really did think he was the love of my life. HOWEVER. If he was he would not have done what he did, we would not have ended up here. He wouldn't have treated me that way and said what he did all those times to me. So, he very clearly wasn't the love of my life.
Now, for my simply "you have to" answer-- you can't let some idiot who doesn't appreciate what you have to offer--because that is what someone is that would treat you that way is--ruin you for someone great. You can't not love again. Love is great. and wonderful. and makes all this craziness worth it.
And, when you find someone, or someone finds you, who sits on the beach with you for hours, dances his butt off with you at concerts, loves football like you-even if it's a rival team- loves your wiener girls almost like you do, sleeps curled up around you even though you both sleep hot when the air is set to 66* in the house.... you hold on. Tight. When there is someone who is more than compatible on multiple levels and makes you smile, holds your hand.. you don't let go. Even if you may still be healing. Like I was (am).
You, my lovelies, have too much to offer to let someone let you think otherwise for long. It's hard. Life, and love, is hard. But. It is all worth it. Opening up to someone when your heart has been broken and scarred is scary. But do it anyway. one of my favorite quotes is below...
I recently had a conversation with a longtime friend of mine. I have been thinking about it a lot since then and thought a lot of people may need to hear it, so hear ya go.
She asked if she could ask me something, and of course I said yes. She knew what all I went through over the last few years and has gone through something terrible, relationship-wise herself. She said "How do you do it? How do you trust again? How do you let yourself love again?"
My quick text (really, Facebook message) answer was "Well, you have to, right?"
Then over the coming hours, and then days, I started to think about that more. And I knew that in the moments after I decided to be done with my previous relationship I knew I would love again, I am built for it. We all are. And here is what I thought:
I really did think he was the love of my life. HOWEVER. If he was he would not have done what he did, we would not have ended up here. He wouldn't have treated me that way and said what he did all those times to me. So, he very clearly wasn't the love of my life.
Now, for my simply "you have to" answer-- you can't let some idiot who doesn't appreciate what you have to offer--because that is what someone is that would treat you that way is--ruin you for someone great. You can't not love again. Love is great. and wonderful. and makes all this craziness worth it.
And, when you find someone, or someone finds you, who sits on the beach with you for hours, dances his butt off with you at concerts, loves football like you-even if it's a rival team- loves your wiener girls almost like you do, sleeps curled up around you even though you both sleep hot when the air is set to 66* in the house.... you hold on. Tight. When there is someone who is more than compatible on multiple levels and makes you smile, holds your hand.. you don't let go. Even if you may still be healing. Like I was (am).
You, my lovelies, have too much to offer to let someone let you think otherwise for long. It's hard. Life, and love, is hard. But. It is all worth it. Opening up to someone when your heart has been broken and scarred is scary. But do it anyway. one of my favorite quotes is below...
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